Three Tips for Your Perfect “Interior” Design

I design interiors. Home interiors. These are the reflective surfaces that mirror the inner workings of the people who live in them. They reflect how their inhabitants tick, what gives them pleasure, how these individuals want to live and feel, all according to their personal programming and constitution. I guess then, in the end, I design interiors that reflect your inner nature…your “Interior,” capital “I.”

However, how you design your inner life, your own “Interior”…well, that is very much where YOU are the designer. And so, having just spent a great day in NYC…in part attending an interior design event…and, in greater part enjoying the company of an old, dear friend, I’ve decided to pick an unexpected blog topic.  Rather than blog about the Design on a Dime Show I checked out with my friend Ali, I’d rather tackle the subject of designing a great Life since it was the more interesting lunch topic as my pal and I laughed and shared as old friends so easily do.

Here are my 3 no fail tips to design a great “personal Interior.”

• Be Sure to Plant Yourself in the Right Spot in the Garden. In other words, lovely yarrow simply will not grow in a wet, boggy location. I know. I’ve tried and it’s a losing battle that results in a withering, dying yarrow plant. So if you are not thriving in the life you’ve crafted, transplant yourself as soon as possible. Find the right career. Or hobby. Or spouse. Or friends. Or causes. Know your constitution and be smart enough to plant yourself in the right spot in The Garden Of Life.  Do this and you will have more peace than most of the people around you.

• Remember to Water, Feed and Fertilize Yourself. There comes a point in life when you must come to know, understand and honor your constitution. I spent the first 10 years of my marriage trying to be like my husband whom I so admire. It was a disaster because Steve and I are constitutionally so different. He needs action while I need solitude. He needs noise while I crave silence. Figure out your inner constitution and start cultivating it and catering to it. You must learn to feed, water and fertilize yourself. Nobody wants to pick the exhausted rose.

• Remember to Surround Yourself with People You Love and Weed Out the Rest. Get out the spade and dig out the friendships that are less about authentic desire and true communal connection and more about duty and what once was. This was a large discussion topic for my friend and I today. We spoke of the challenges faced by women who are in mid-life, mid-career and mid- child rearing when it comes to creating and maintain meaningful friendships. This wonderful long distance friend whom I’ve known since our college freshman year lamented her recent loss of a friendship that probably limped on longer than it should have. I recognized the scent, for I too have clung fast to ghost friendships… shadows of things that once were and no longer are.  We do it out of guilt; we do it out of obligation or sense of duty perhaps. But – here’s a better idea.  Bless it and then let it go. As the ancient sages warned…To everything, there is a season. It takes the wise heart to honor the cycles of life. And so, honor the friendships that come to stay for the long forever, and give equal thanks for the ones that burn bright and quick. Each brings a gift if you are smart enough to open it and look inside. Fill your life with people you love and who love you. Period.

Picking out fabric is easy compared to weaving the fabric of our Lives. But if the weaver is wise, she can pull in different threads as she chooses…all in order to skillfully design a cloth that will make for good living. Life your Best Life as Oprah always says. I say….Design It.